bits & pieces of my life

Relationships

It’s a tough thing to handle isn’t it? Put in one more word - monogamous, and it makes it even tougher.

I went down to the annual CNY party held by HS tdy. N boy was almost every person I know playing for this camp there last nite. I bumped into my AXA colleague, an ex-colleague and also my ex! N a whole bunch of friends and familiar faces. Ain’t the community small with nowhere to go, lol.

Anyway, thing is… Ppl from the other camp tend to think tat our camp’s relationships usually don’t last long, needless to say forever ever after isn’t even possible. Frankly, be it from whichever camp, shit happens.

U may have seen this person w a partner few months back. Now when u bump into this person again, the partner is someone new! Or u know this person is with a particular someone, but then u caught this person making out with someone else!!

Monogamy… Is it really so difficult to stay faithful and committed in your relationship? I don’t know really. As what sk said, if u know u can’t keep yourself away, why put yourself in a situation where u know u can’t do the right thing? If I’m in a monogamous relationship, honesty n commitment comes naturally. Maybe I’m abnormal, nothing seems to tempt or distract me. To me, this are pre-requisites when u decide to enter a relationship.

On the other hand, there are the sluts! Who crave for attention, and feel a sense of achievement when they can get anyone they want. Why wreak havoc in other peoples’ relationships. If u want attention and sex, find someone foolish who is single! Do u really feel empowered when u can get people who are attach into your bed? We are all the same, show some fucking respect and decency. Then fuck off into that screwed up world of yours.

As been said above, relationships are really difficult to handle, with unlimited number of reasons which will screw it up. But I will hope that whatever happens to mine, if it doesn’t work out, wouldn’t be because of a third party. I think that’s the shittiest reason ever.

I waited all nite for u to be home. I worried all noon if u’re angry. I thought u’re busy and i didnt even wanna disturb u to tell u that i’m sick.

So I’m not a person who has a sweet tongue nor know how to make my partner happy just like how your ex-es used to do. Now it’s not good enough. U find me annoying n feel agitated when u talk to me. Do u expect me to change overnight?

What a way to start off the lunar new year… To cry in bed. Ha!!

15 months

…. so we’ve been together for slightly over a year. its a contradicting feeling. on one hand, it feels like time went by just like that *snap*, and on the other hand, it feels like we’ve been together for a really long time.

i agree with u that seeing ching n tss reminds us of how we used to be, maintaining a long-distance relationship. its a bittersweet feeling. now u’re finally back! sure, there are times when we’re unhappy about certain things. but at least i know it can be worked on and it does not waver our commitment towards this r/s.

i was asked the other day… what if one day u n i were to break up? didn’t i have any concerns when i decided to be with u? do i see this r/s to be long term. hahaha. to have your friends thinking of all these, how can it never occurred to me before? i think every r/s is a risk. how will we ever know if the r/s will work out even before getting into it? but yes, i do agree that being with u can be of a higher risk. but i guess i am a high risk taker, i go more with my heart than my head. and if i don’t intend this to be a long-term r/s, why would i even decide to be in it in the first place? i’m not actually getting any younger. n if one day, things really don’t work out? u and i both know that for u, when it ends, it ends. to have to come to the stage where we bring up that topic will mean the issues we have cannot be resolved, and we can’t live with it. thus, we can’t move on any further.

hmmmm… why am i writing all these emo and negative stuff?!?!! anyway, thing is, all is still good. we haven’t had a big fight for a long time *fingers crossed* i still get jealous (seems that i always am when with u). but under the circumstances, i think it was perfectly normal. hahahaha. i still love u deeply. i still enjoy taking care of u. i still make my plans to involve a future with u :)

alright then. at least 345 more months to go. LOL

resolutions 2012

its the time of the year to recap and review on 2011 and plan for 2012…

2011 Resolutions
1. work hard, hit my targets, MORE moola!!!
2. exercise, lose weight and tone up
3. control my temper with my mum
4. read more
5. learn something new (can be a language, sport, skill, etc)
6. an act of love a day

2011 Wishlist
1. a loving n stable r/s w sk
2. happiness n good health for everyone
3. everyone in GL’s team to HUAT ah!!!
4. trips to sydney with peace of mind (ties in to #1 resolution, haha)

let’s see… resolution no. 1, i didn’t really work hard to Q4 of this year… but all is good now, better than expected actually. 2, i put on weight!! grrrrrr!! 3 and 4, constant i suppose. 5, nothing really. 6… ermmm, totally forgot abt this.

next, the wishlist! 1 and 4 are related… 1. yes i am! well, every r/s has its unstable moments, but all is good :) 2, some shitty news close to end of the year. wth, lets just hope its dealt with by Q1 of 2012. Q3… yes indeed, our team did better compared to the year before!! woohooo!

so, what’s the plan for yr 2012?

2012 Resolutions
1. work hard, hit my KPIs, MORE moola!!! save money!!
2. settle my health, lose weight, tone up
3. control my temper generally
4. read more
5. learn something new (preferbly a sport)
6. be a good maanger n lead my teams well

2012 Wishlist
1. adapt and overcome whatever challenges that come along the way, maintain and sustain a happy r/s w sk :)
2. happiness n good health for my family, loved ones n friends (not forgetting my brownie)
3. sk to find a good job n have an enjoyable working life
4. holiday trips with sk! hehehe

sooo… that’s it for the planning. may everyone have a great 2012!

xmas in malacca

so this was the last trip for the year… to spend xmas in malacca. what a looong journey it was, literally. after i knocked off from work that day, i drove on down to pick sk up from home before proceeding to drive to malacca via the tuas checkpoint. that’s not forgetting to stop by maccas to buy some food.

the traffic was pretty smooth… i was quite happy. was estimating we’ll maybe take abt 3hrs judging from it being the first time i’m driving to malacca and that the gps i borrowed frm wj is spoilt! but!! shit happens! aft the check point, we missed the petrol station and thus got flustered because i was only left with less than a quarter tank. we exited the expressway in search of a kiosk, and since we saw the sign to the jb premium outlets, we decided to drop by to shop, lol. in abt half an hour, we left empty-handed. nothing to buy at all, such limited stocks, waste of our time. we pumped up and made our way to malacca. the traffic was shitty because it was raining. then when we reach malacca, we couldn’t find our hotel, wtf! thankfully we went for supper at jonker before searching, if not we’ll both be in a foul mood. we only managed to check in and lie on the bed at past midnite. took us like 4hours!

there’s really nothing much to do in malacca then than eating. we ate like 5-6 meals on day 2, hahaaha. unbelievable. and we can go out in search of food around the neighbourhood of our hotel at 1+am. thats how “piggish” we were. we slept, ate and shopped! that was our itinerary for the trip.

on the third night which was christmas day, we decided to have dinner at this popular portuguese restauarant. wow, i tell u, the people there think they own the road. they were walking everywhere! and when i try to drive myself through, they glared at me! hello!! do u think i want to knock u down? this is a road, it is for cars and not humans to walk around! WTF! damn pissed off!

initially sk despised shopping in msia., but eventually still bought more stuff than i did. all the money was almost spent within the first day. i happened to pass by the same thai massage salon that i went during my prev trip w the poly girls. remembering how shiok it was, i decided to go again, this time with sk. sk has never tried a thai massage b4!! tsk! don’t understand whyyy! the family did not eat chicken rice, jonker 88, lok lok, nor gone shopping or had thai massage during their prev trip to malacca. i really wonder what they did during the trip. anyway, the massage was damn SHIOK! sk is a new convert of thai massage, hahahaha. the guy masseuse was perspiring after the session, hahahaha. poor fella.

monday, we checked out and went in search of the popular nyonya restaurant for lunch before heading back to spore. it was full house, had to wait quite a while. the food was good (not spicy enough tho) n service could be better. we dropped by jusco for a walk before starting our journey back at 3.30pm. it took us a fucking 1hr to get outta malacca to the expressway! then there were jams here and there. i really dont understand. its not like there were any accidents, there were NONE!! just because a vehicle broke down on the road shoulder, it’ll cause a jam. what logic is that?! n fyi, i’m not talking abt a small jam. guess how long it took us to reach spore? over 5 fucking hours!! damn pissed n tired. arggggghhh!

was supposed to join them colleague’s at dan’s house for xmas bbq dinner. in the end, by the time i reached, it was supper already.

sooo… these were the ups n downs of my malacca xmas trip! now its time to think about new year resolutions.

what a piece of news

so everything seemed bright and rosy… work, relationship, everything was going great! tat was till i visited the hospital yesterday.

well, in short, the doc kinda felt a lump in my pelvic area, and its not small. sooo.. i was advised to go for an ultrasound scan. several calls later, i managed to get an appt earliest this fri morning. y r gynaes always full booked?! my own gynae was booked till mid-jan!!

anyway, broke the news to sk, and she scolded me on why i didn’t seem much bothered by the piece of news. i could even ask her where she wanna go for dinner right after telling her the news. parents didn’t react much last nite either, but they eventually had some reaction today. dad kept asking me questions. i think they were afraid of frightening me n refused to bring up the C-word. dad said he guarantees its just nothing. well, he also said “aren’t u worried?!” mum too mentioned i can still be planning for wkend chalet stay at such circumstances.

well, let’s face it, how do u want me to react after knowing such news? stay at home, don’t go to work n cry my eyes out?!? does it help? it’ll make me feel even lousier, no? so shouldn’t i just behave normally, do things that i wanna do, keep myself busy and not think so much abt it? i just gotta wait till fri to go for the scan. n if there really is a growth, lets see what the doc will advise to be the next step to resolve it.

this is life! i never expected mine to be smooth sailing, and so I’ve proved myself time and again that it isnt. so what we gotta do is to overcome the obstacles.

Adapting to changes

I know the current “lifestyle” sucks compared to how it was previously. Tat I can’t accompany u in the late nites, nor spend time together as n when in the afternoons. I don’t like it either n I’m sorry.

Things change. There’s pros, there’s cons. I’ll try. We gotta adapt n make it work ok?

Love U