May 2012
2 posts
4 tags
Losing love? Losing faith?
Every relationship has its ups and downs. Every human is selfish at times. How do you gauge how much your partner loves you? How do we tell who loves who more?
Tonite, I have been told that my love has decreased. Has it? I wouldn’t think so. No point was proven. I admit I took a step back recently. My selfishness came into play here. As mentioned in my previous post, I couldn’t feel...
April 2012
5 posts
I can’t feel it these few days… I don’t know wats wrong. Am I being needy just bcos i’m sick? Is this a new transition that I have to adapt to? Or is there something wrong? I don’t know.
wassup?!
i haven’t been writing much lately, busy at work. i may be passing one of my projects over soon. i don’t know if i shld be happy or sad frankly. cos i’ve tried so hard for this project, its like my baby. i try so hard, but at times i feel like giving up. well, i did hit my kpi, but its still below my own personal target. well, what to do, its upper mgt’s call. damn tat...
1 tag
an almost fucked up birthday week
i don’t know if its jinxed, but something always goes wrong, at least for the last year and this year. things just don’t seem to go smooth, they’ll cock up, we’ll fight. as much as we both try to hold in our tempers, but shit still happened. as hard as i try, shit happened. no matter what i do, shit happened.
i don’t know what else to do now. its sad to hear that u...
1 tag
March 2012
3 posts
2 tags
that's life
一个人出世的时候坐bb车
小孩时，就骑单车
长大后，就坐私家车
老了，就免不了坐白车
到最后那一程，就坐殡车
3 tags
6 stages of a relationship
Which stage is your relationship at now?
1. Getting to know you - We are on our best behaviour as we get to know each other and start dating. You may find yourself withholding negative traits in yourself to give the best impression, or try to shape yourself to please your potential partner. This stage may or may not include a sexual element. We might start to make assumptions in an attempt...
February 2012
10 posts
I don’t know if u always feel like I’m not as into it, putting as much as I used to. I don’t know how to compare, but at least I know I’m trying and putting in as much as I can at every point of time.
it's valentine's day
…. n i’m home, lying in bed, watching shows n feeling sorry for myself.
this surgery sucks. this feeling of helplessness sucks. this neediness sucks. this self pity sucks.
as much as valentine’s day is over rated and that we should try to make every day valentine’s day with our love one, what can be worst than staying at home alone? i guess this has got to be my worst...
2 tags
it is love
it is Love that gives me purpose to change and grow and learn. it is Love that guides me on this path and helps me choose each turn. it is Love that gives me courage to stand against my fears; to open up my heart to you, to let you see my tears. it is Love that gives me trust and hope when little things go wrong. when distance stands between us, it is Love that keeps me strong. i love you baby!
who matters the most
at the point when i was being pushed outta my ward to the operating theatre, tears started welling up. it is not the fear of death, but the fear that it would be the last time i was gonna see sk. there wasn’t even a proper goodbye, i just placed my hand on the knee as a bid of farewell. my op took longer than expected n it got sk getting worried. it then dawned on both of us how much we mean...
“this is the day to leave a mark on myself…”
2 tags
3 tags
so my job becomes an issue now
didnt u say before that u will not get angry if i had to work late? i always try to be on the dot when meeting u after work. but if the meeting overruns, what can i do? i rushed thru everything, i had to postpone meeting a friend to pass her stuff n i rushed thru the peak hour traffic to go to ur place n what do i get? i tried my best n all i got was u being angry n ignoring me.
n have i no right...
January 2012
7 posts
2 more weeks
well, fate has it that i need to undergo surgery at this stage. went for my pre-op checkup last sat morning n dr ong had to share with me on the best n worst case scenarios. of coz, its nv settling to hear abt whats the worst that may happen. sk was there with me n tot hearing it personally from the doc made things even scarier and real, knowing whats at stake here. well, lets just hope for the...
Relationships
It’s a tough thing to handle isn’t it? Put in one more word - monogamous, and it makes it even tougher.
I went down to the annual CNY party held by HS tdy. N boy was almost every person I know playing for this camp there last nite. I bumped into my AXA colleague, an ex-colleague and also my ex! N a whole bunch of friends and familiar faces. Ain’t the community small with...
I waited all nite for u to be home. I worried all noon if u’re angry. I thought u’re busy and i didnt even wanna disturb u to tell u that i’m sick.
So I’m not a person who has a sweet tongue nor know how to make my partner happy just like how your ex-es used to do. Now it’s not good enough. U find me annoying n feel agitated when u talk to me. Do u expect me to...
3 tags
15 months
…. so we’ve been together for slightly over a year. its a contradicting feeling. on one hand, it feels like time went by just like that *snap*, and on the other hand, it feels like we’ve been together for a really long time.
i agree with u that seeing ching n tss reminds us of how we used to be, maintaining a long-distance relationship. its a bittersweet feeling. now u’re...
3 tags
December 2011
7 posts
1 tag
resolutions 2012
its the time of the year to recap and review on 2011 and plan for 2012…
2011 Resolutions 1. work hard, hit my targets, MORE moola!!! 2. exercise, lose weight and tone up 3. control my temper with my mum 4. read more 5. learn something new (can be a language, sport, skill, etc) 6. an act of love a day
2011 Wishlist 1. a loving n stable r/s w sk 2. happiness n good health for...
xmas in malacca
so this was the last trip for the year… to spend xmas in malacca. what a looong journey it was, literally. after i knocked off from work that day, i drove on down to pick sk up from home before proceeding to drive to malacca via the tuas checkpoint. that’s not forgetting to stop by maccas to buy some food.
the traffic was pretty smooth… i was quite happy. was estimating...
what a piece of news
so everything seemed bright and rosy… work, relationship, everything was going great! tat was till i visited the hospital yesterday.
well, in short, the doc kinda felt a lump in my pelvic area, and its not small. sooo.. i was advised to go for an ultrasound scan. several calls later, i managed to get an appt earliest this fri morning. y r gynaes always full booked?! my own gynae was booked...
3 tags
Adapting to changes
I know the current “lifestyle” sucks compared to how it was previously. Tat I can’t accompany u in the late nites, nor spend time together as n when in the afternoons. I don’t like it either n I’m sorry.
Things change. There’s pros, there’s cons. I’ll try. We gotta adapt n make it work ok?
Love U
3 tags
things to start today...
EXERCISE
DIET N LOSE WEIGHT
plan mailing list n prep the xmas cards
collect calenders n diaries, send them out w cards by nxt wk
plan xmas presents shopping list
plan biz strategy for 2012
start saving $x every month
quit smoking (again)… may tie in with sk, for NY’s day instead
nxt list to think about… resolutions for 2012!!
Bye bye Sydney
Lots of things to say… don’t know where to start. It’s been 3hrs since u got home from the airport. Slept 8hrs frm the nite before, didn’t sleep a wink during the 8hrs flight back. N now, I’m actually not tired.
8 days in Sydney, this trip was pretty tiring. Lots of packing, shifting, cleaning n drama. Of coz, not forgetting pretending to be sk’s friend and...
November 2011
4 posts
5 more days to go… Woohoooo!!
Having a life together
A discussion about a future together has brought out the fear of history repeating itself again. But baby, different people or different pairings bring out different reactions n outcomes.
Sure, I understand your apprehension. Don’t u think I worry too? Worry tat maybe if u were to see me day in day out, u’ll prolly be sick of me in no time.
But life and relationships have no...
I think I’m a very needy gf in this current relationship… I wonder if it’s a good or bad thing. Sigh
1 tag
October 2011
10 posts
Do not watch with envious eyes. Do not doubt your decisions. Look far, look long. Look at the broader scope. Do not lose focus. Do not lose heart.
Start of a new chpt
It’s been 2wks now… Stuff r starting to pile up. It’s a challenge, we learn, we grow, we advance. Not a great environment but at least they’re making steps to change. I’m pretty much enjoying it so far.
This step would probably bring me some stability. I need to plan n have the momentum to juggle both well. Need to work towards my goals in a few yrs. There r lots...
“we can never expect things to be the same, with it comes disappointment n...”
a change in me
Ur sense of neediness increases by great leaps when u’re sick. U become vulnerable, fragile, u crave for people to show u more care n concern. U become v emotional. I’ve never experienced it before until a few days back. This headache n fever has brought out a whole new side of me I myself have never seen before. I’ll took sk by surprise. And even a close friend whom I’ve...
1 tag
personality test
i was just reading eunique’s blog when i came across this personality test which she did. n knowing me, i went to do it myself!! result as follows, i think its kinda accurate….
you’re a life lover
You are very open-minded and ready to embrace new ideas and fresh ways of thinking. Despite being down-to-earth and easy-going, you have a quirky, whimsical side to you that...
Yippee...
So I gotten it today. Quite surprised actually, just went n gotten it within the day itself. Quite proud of my skills in tis area, muahahahha.
Was great that I was meeting the poly girls for dinner to celebrate jo’s bday. Coz in my heart, I was having a small celebration of my own :)
Anyway, gonna start next wk. been awhile, let’s see how it’s gonna be like. There’s...
Open up to me
U don’t like to talk about your feelings, I know. U just throw me a statement n expect me to know what to do or how to resolve it. It doesn’t work like that baby. I don’t know if it’s due to ur recent moods that made u feel this way.
Now that we’re apart, it’s gonna be different. I can’t do what I did for u in the past month to show how much I care or...
reality hits
its back to reality… a not so sweet reality. i need an adjustment, i need a change, i need a chance.
things are sweet and rosy when the 2 person are together, but when apart, things are somewhat different. the difficulties of a long-distance relationship… its just not easy. sometimes friends ask me, “how do u fight when u’re not even physically together”....
September 2011
2 posts
Sometimes the words get into u, and suddenly the emotions well up when u actually visualize it happening. That’s when u know the importance n impact of the issue…
Final trip to Sydney - 2011
I’m halfway thru my trip now. It’s been exactly 2wks. Lots of sleeping, eating, and of coz, sex, lol. Packing not only SK’s room, but even darren’s!! Tsk!!
Haven’t been following thru what I’ve planned tho. That’s to write my journal daily (I only lasted for the first 5 days I think) and to exercise (0 sessions so far).
I’ve gotten a haircut...